4.11.2010

My Top Ten Fashion Commandments

  התנצלותי מראש ל"כל" קוראי הבלוג דוברי העברית , פוסט זה יפורסם באופן חד פעמי באנגלית בלבד. (אל דאגה, זה רק נראה מפחיד). בהצלחה !

My Top Ten Fashion Commandments


Today the post is going to deal with some of the most important things you need to know about fashion. I’m talking about the big “NO NO’S”, and the “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU WORE THIS %$#%?
So grab out a pen and a note, or simply open the Word/notepad in your computer. I’m sure one day you’ll thank me for that.

(Please note that I’m very critique but I mean it in a humor sense.)

Rule #1
Black and Blue – NO. NO NO NO NO NO. I don’t care you think it’s ok, it’s not. It just doesn’t work together. Since I was a teenager I’ve yelled at my family when they wore this horrible combination. My father did learn not to do this mistake, so Yay. The one option that can work for Black&Blue is a black top and a pair of jeans. It’s really not perfect, but it’s close to OK and tolerable.
Another annoying combination is brown and black. I find it worse that the first one. It just looks boring, lousy and not good enough.
B VS G
BAD vs OK

Rule #2
Leggings – what’s the deal with this trend? It’s like wearing nothing. I believe it’s very comfortable, but ladies, haven’t you learned already that “in order to be beautiful you have to suffer” (sometimes a lot).
Anyway, I hate it. It’s doesn’t do justice to us all, just for the skinny and tall ones. Leggings I do like and “approve” are the colorful cool ones. The plain black/brown – bla bla, boring! Move on. It’s ugly with these huge tunics above it. It’s fine for pregnant women, because they need something big and not tight, but as long as you’re young, skinny and chic - leave it behind and buy a pair of real pants. J

Bla leggings, Cool leggings
To the left - boring leggings. To the right - some nice ones


Rule #3
Crocs -  don’t let the cute innocent alligator fool you with these ugly shoes. It’s just ugly, and I know you agree with me. In Israel It's a big years in recent years. Did you know that crocs shoes are not allowed to use the electric stairs? Funny but true. My nephew has crocks. I was so pissed with my sister. But the truth is that when it’s in small size it looks better. Not good, better than the big ones. The colors of the shoes. What did the “designer” think to himself? It’s noticeable enough; you don’t have to color it in purple or green. Whatever. I hope it’s as comfortable as they say it is, otherwise I so no reason to wear it.
One picture explains it all

Rule #4
High boots on top of pants - Aaargh. I think it’s the thing I hate to most. It started something like 5 years ago when I was still in high school, and it’s still here for some mysterious reason. Short people who do this, look like midgets, sorry. It just doesn’t flatter. It also looks so cheap. I know it’s difficult in the winter to find the right shoes, and I know that boots are nice and comfy, and wear them with a dress, short pants, or just buy ankle boots. Ankle boots are great solution for this huge problem.
Not good

Rule #5
Matching sports suit: Some of you know I love the brand “Juicy”, but the velour sets don’t work for me. Each piece alone is fine, but together it’s not working even for the gym. Again- I know it’s comfy, but it’s ugly as well. So choose what’s more important to you.
You know I LOVE Juicy, but it's just too much when it's together in my opinion

Rule #6
Floral print: Enough with it already. I think we had enough with flowers for the rest of our lives. It was “ok” in the begging, but in the last couple of years it’s everywhere. It’s also very old sometimes, or on the other hand – childish. Besides, most of the floral clothing look pretty much the same. So –enough! Stores- stop manufacturing flowers clothing, we had enough and we don’t want it ever again.
It's everywhere
You can have ANYTHING in floral print

Rule #7
Grandpa glasses:  Ugly. Not sexy. Not trendy. Not chic. Today it’s just banal, like that “Ray ban” sunglasses.
At first when I saw people wear these big awful glasses I looked at them as if they are crazy and ugly. After a while I thought “wow, good for them”, but today it means nothing, it just means that you’re a trend victim, not setter.
old glassses
NO it's not cool

Rule #8
"Washed out" jeans (Distressed): When I was in junior high school (almost 10 years ago. God I’m old) it was a hit. Everyone had these jeans, including me. Nowadays when I see these jeans being sold in department stores like ZARA, I almost freak out. This really does look cheap and old fashioned. (Not old fashion as vintage, but just old and doughty. You have to learn this: the cleaner and simple the jeans is – the better! Trust me.
distressed


Rule #9
White pants: Again, when I was in junior high I loved it and had a few pairs. White clothing for me is so difficult to wear because it always gets dirty and stains.  (All my white tops in my closet have at least one food statement, mostly Ketchup. J
white

Rule #10
Kitten heel shoes: These little tiny thin heels, are so damn annoying and ugly. I too had my experience with these heels (that’s right, when I was in junior high school), and never again stepped my feet into these kind of shoes. You think to yourself that it’s a “win win situation” because it’s comfy and yet heels, but it’s ugly. So here as well you have to consider what you prefer best.
kitten heels
I know you think the same

These were ten out of my millions of lists of rules I hold. I hope you learned something, and even if you’ll change one thing I will be delighted.

Once again, the content is “serious” and I truly believe in it, but I hope I didn’t offend anybody. J
It took me two days to work on this post, so hopefully the hard work paid off. I'd love to hear your comments by the way.

Chici day you all!
Hila


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